:( :) :/ :P <3
by Let's Talk About Text
When I ventured into the world of online dating I had a list of draw backs and turn offs that was about as long as the romantic drought I’d been experiencing. I didn’t want anyone that resembled anyone that would have made fun of me in high school. I didn’t want anyone terribly religious, kinky (as in “ow you’re hurting me”), that wanted me to be thinner than I was (or thin in general), that wasn’t funny, that only wanted to talk about music, a name dropper, anyone that couldn’t decipher between you’re, your, their, they’re, there, two, too, and to and lastly anyone that used the acronym “LOL”. It all probably sounds pretty snobby, but I was tired of dating people that I had to monitor at parties, forcing me to do that loud sympathy laugh after they made a terrible joke in front of my friends, like a pageant mom that cheers on her overweight daughter during the swimwear portion of a Junior Miss pageant.
“LOL” was usually what did them in. While I could appreciate that this acronym is also a palindrome, I felt as though it was socially lazy and it left me skeptically pondering whether or not this person was legitimately laughing out loud at my online wit or just switching between multiple message boxes typing in applicable acronyms where they saw it fit.
As my online dating endeavor progressed I realized there was practically an entire dictionary’s worth of acronyms. Most of them took me several minutes to figure out, but then again I didn’t know the movie ET stood for extra terrestrial until I was about 23 so perhaps I should evacuate my glass house and put down these stones for a moment.
As I became more acclimated with social networking and my text messages didn’t cost me ten cents each, I decided to let loose a bit and before I knew it I was using emoticons as a regular part of my sentences. I don’t know how to read the tone of a text without an emoticon serving as the bookend of the statement. I used to take things exactly how I read them, but now I stare at my phone like it’s full of secrets, turning it off and on, squinting, asking someone to call me to make sure it’s working properly.
It’s amazing how the shift of a parenthesis can change your entire mood. When my boyfriend sends me one of those greater than three texts I get butterflies like I did when I was a teenager lying on my bed writing 50 Shades of Grey like poetry solely inspired by fantasies. All that from a text?!
When I was 20. I wanted a Lloyd Dobler type to stalk me, but emojs are right up there with a Peter a Gabriel dedication as of late.
Between email, texts and e cards Hallmark’s customers must only consist of people that still have landlines and hotmail accounts.